I have random dreams about someone from my past.
She will all of a sudden just pop up with NO reason.
In my dreams...
Maybe I'm shopping.
Or having dinner with friends.
And she's there. We're chatting. Everything is normal.
And then I wake up.
Confused.
I'm confused due to the fact that
We haven't talked or seen each other
In almost four years.
I defriended on Facebook.
And in my life.
And it was mostly my decision.
We were best friends for a long time.
And then one day,
Things just changed.
Or maybe, I changed.
I no longer felt compatible with her anymore.
No longer positive about our relationship.
It was a constant negativity that I truly did not need in my life.
It's so strange for me to explain.
And sometimes I feel like this is totally against who I am--
How could I just cut someone out of my life?
I still am perplexed at how it all went down.
And wonder if there is any way we could still be friends.
But I think the damage is/was done.
Things were said.
And from my point of view,
There are still mixed emotions about our relationship.
But that doesn't mean I don't think of her.
Or dream about her.
Or wonder how she is.
It's amazing how covered pockets of your life,
Just all of a sudden pop up.
Even though you don't want to remember them.
They still appear.
Full force.
And make you question.
I hope to someday have answers to what happened.
And hopefully someday open a door, I closed years ago.
Because maybe my dreams would go away.
And maybe my mind would have some peace.
And my heart wouldn't feel so broken.
Top 10 for the Week:
January 27th, 2014
10. Snow Day with Jay. Due to ANOTHER storm coming in, Jay had another unexpected snow day with us! On this day, we decided to do some much needed filing. It was horrible. Kids were cranky, annoyed, bored. I'm all for random projects that need to be done...but it's truly hard on the kids when we don't have set things for them to do. And I think being inside a lot takes a toll on them (who wouldn't feel this way??). But we accomplished something. Which is good. Right?!?!
9. SAHM. I am amazed at all I do in one day. Seriously. There were several days this week where the kids and I were stuck indoors because it was too cold out. And Jay took his Explorer (the van is truly not safe for me on these country roads--looks like we will have a new vehicle by next winter! So long automatic doors:o(). The kids get as bored as I do. The things that I think we will play for hours, we play for 10 minutes tops. And the things I think we will play for 5 minutes we play for hours. I don't get it. But I will tell you this--we played WAY too much zebra (a game made up by the kids and me). One day in the life of the Newells: played train, danced, made Valentines, bounced, water colors, marble run, played with cars, hide and seek.
8. Outdoor Fun. As I type this, the kids and Jay are outside, at it again. ME...I'm tired of it. We spent several hours in it yesterday sledding, throwing snowballs, building forts, taking pics, yeah the whole snow thing. And quite frankly, I'm tired of it. The kids and Jay still love it. I'm glad. I would rather be in here blogging or crocheting. Or even cleaning! Seriously. Snow go away. Heard the groundhog saw his shadow. Yep, not impressed. Or surprised.
7. Just US. We didn't really have plans for this past weekend. In fact, we had NO plans. Not even for Super Bowl. Which was nice. It's nice to have weekends where you can JUST be us. Went shopping, played some board games, watched movies, played outside. It was nice. And makes me appreciate our little family. And the positive comments/thoughts to Mal are STILL working. I swear by this! The more I compliment her on things (how nice she's acting to her brother, how thoughtful it is to pick up a certain toy), the better mood she's in and the more I catch her doing nice things!
6. Ladies Night. Thursday night was Ladies Night for our Relay for Life team. 7 or so vendors at a bar. Was so much fun getting out and seeing people for a good cause. Lots of laughs.
5. Bowling. Mal was suppose to go bowling this week with her class. But due to school closing, they cancelled. A group of us from school went anyways. I was worried about taking Mr. Clayton. You can imagine why, right? Well, Mal was a great big sister and helped me out--BIG time. Both of them scored in the 70's. And had a lot of fun. Next time we will have to go with Daddy so he can show them how it's done!
4. My Stuff. I'm been Martha Stewart lately. The 11,000 Pinterest projects I've pinned, I've actually started doing! Finished making the kids' Valentine mailboxes, which turned out cute! They've enjoyed pulling little gifts and hearts out of them each day. I also made the button heart art. It was so easy and is adorable! We started regrowing celery from a leftover piece of celery. Kids are loving it! And I have to admit, I am too! Mal even commented about our crafting addiction. "Mom and me--we're crafting friends" to Jay and I in the car. Jay laughed, I beamed. I told him to just wait and see how he felt when Clay comments about how they are hunting buddies. It's an amazing feeling when you can share something you LOVE with your own child. Can't wait to craft with her some more:o)
3. Clayisms. Taught Clay how to count to three. Usually it's just TWO. Cause he LOVES the number two. But this week, I focused on using close-to-sounds (that makes sense?). Instead of one, two three--we say un, two, tree. It works. And he's so proud of himself. He's also getting a few colors--definitely BLUE and green. He's a whiz on the Ipad. Better than I could ever imagine. He matches colors, shapes, letters. It's amazing to me how quickly this skill comes at such a young age. I have to be pretty sneaky about hiding my Ipad. Otherwise he'd be on it all the time. He was a bit down and out this week. Slept a lot and had a little big of tummy issues. But no fever or other sickness. It was so strange when he actually went directly to bed. So unlike him. Hoping he feels better this week.
2. Malloryisms. Oh Miss Mallory. A few first things this week: Bowling (first for Clay too) & a word search (she picked it out and bought it with her own money--she was great doing it! Her letters are really coming along!). She also counted to 35 (skipping 20)--totally on her own as we were reading a book together.
Cute sayings this week:
"I'm not leaving without him." (Talking about Sir Clayton when we were outside. Such a great big sister).
"Dig IN!" (After being outside in the afternoon, I let the kids come in and eat right out of the ice cream container. JUST before dinner. They both thought it was the best thing ever! So easily amused.)
"Salt and Pepper are friends. They are similar because they are both toppings and are in the same container." (Love her vocabulary. Love her thinking. Love her.)
We also played two different imaginary games thought up by her. The first was Adventure Time--which I'm sure was influenced by Wild Kratts (she loves that show). She packed bags with flashlights, water, and other "tools" to help us capture creatures. Clay loved this as well. We ran away from the "lion" AKA Tipper the dog. Then there was her performance game. She was the director, me the student/subject of course. She directed me to turn, move a certain way when we listened to her favorite CD Frozen. It was hilarious watching her give me a look and then raise her hand in one direction or the other. Then I was able to watch her do her own number. Most precious thing ever. She was enthralled with the music and enjoyed the spotlight while Clay played with her Barbie horses in her closet:o)
1. ONE Year GF. Last week marked a year for me. Best thing I've done in a long time. And I continue to try and get others on board with me. What you're tired? Achy? Sick all the time? There are TOO many people out there who are suffering and I believe a GF lifestyle can cure so many of these aliments. More and more restaurants and food companies are getting on board with this idea. It's amazing to me how much better I feel. My next step is to truly start working out. The missing piece to my healthy lifestyle.
I'm early! For once!
Hope you all enjoy your Super Bowl Sunday!
We are playing it low key!
Which is perfect.
Have a great week!!
Until next week,
Mrs. Newell
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