The End is Approaching

The end is approaching.

Not the world.  That was months ago.

The end of my ONE year sabbatical.
It went crazy fast!  But it's almost done.

A decision needs to be made about my future.

It's so strange for me to think that within the next month I could possibly--even more than likely--be turning in my resignation to Decatur.

There has been some ups and downs to this decision this week.

I am fortunate I would say to have people in my life who give me contradictory thoughts to ponder.

I mean, up until this week, there was no doubt in my head that I would be submitting my letter and truly storing my teaching supplies for a few more years (if not longer).

But these people, who truly know me, made me stop and think. 

And cry.
All life decisions end and and start with a good cry, right?!?!

I love teaching. 
I love staying at home. 

Both I find joy in.
Both I feel I do well.
Both I find frustration. 
And both even make me a little crazy at times.

So, here's the gist.  I really don't want to go back.  I'm feeling healthier, more in the groove, happy with where I am at with our kids and my life. 

THEN there's a part of me that TRULY worries I will never find another teaching job.  And that really breaks my heart.  To know that I would never have my own classroom again.  Really?

So, I'm left with about a month to come to my final decision.

I have lots of support.  I know this.  But I also know that the decision is ultimately mine.

So, I pray.  And have faith.  That the answer will be clear.  And direct.

At least, that's what I hope.

Please.


Top 10 for the Week:

10.  Easter Decor.  I may be jumping the gun on getting our Easter decorations out...but I can't help it.  We have a daughter who is in LOVE with decorations.  As soon as I put our Valentines away, she was asking what was next.  Today she informed me that we didn't have enough.  We are working on it:o)

9.  Meijer Visit.  For Valentines Day, Nana and Papa gave the kids a Meijer gift card.  We all needed out of the house after such a long week, so we headed to Meijer late Sunday afternoon.  Mal was easy.  She saw barbie doll furniture and was not turning back.  Clay on the other hand was a struggle.  He's at such a strange age.  Not too big enough to really play by himself (although I caught him this afternoon preparing a meal in the pretend kitchen and then eating it at the table) or games.  It took forever to find the "perfect" toy for him.  We ended up with a block train.  Seems like a hit--we will see.

8.  Valentine's Day.  Not how I really thought I'd be spending my day.  Was in the ER with Sir Clayton for 4 1/2 hours.  Mal went to school and then spent the afternoon at Daddy's office with Kim, Grandpa, Grandma, and Daddy.  She enjoyed some copy machine fun, coloring, coffee with the gals, and I'm sure numerous snacks:o)  I was exhausted.  No answers on this day.  But we had some great sleepers that night.

7.  Family & Friends.  I have these people in my life who I think are rather grand.  Some I talk to every other day, some once a week, some once a month.  But I love them.  Each of them bring a different perspective, insight, love, and support.  Thank-you.  You know who you are:o)

6.  Sun.  I love you.  Never go away.  EVER.

5.  Betty Crocker.  Today is Crock pot Monday.  I've just declared it.  As my kids sat on the counter and watched me chop up veggies, and then toss them in, I felt extreme joy.  And even more joy knowing that my cooking was done for the day!  Woohoo!  On tonight's dinner menu:  Chicken Noodle Soup.  Smells delicious!  I am getting quite Crockerish you know.  Made more granola, muffins, my own taco seasoning (SOOOO good), gluten free cookies.  I don't want to jinx myself, but I'm starting to like this cooking thing.  Seriously.  Just ask my husband.  I'm sure he's fainting as he reads this. I've had some not-so-good things (like my GF zucihini muffins).  It takes practice.  Right?!?!

4.  Clayisms.  Can say pants, train.  Funny little dude.  Seriously.  So reminds me of his Daddy.  While we were in the ER the second day, he started doing this funny walk.  His shoulders slumped over and his head down.  SOOOO funny.  Jay and I couldn't help crack up laughing.  This week he also learned how to climb in and out of his crib.  We are not fans.  But this doesn't seem to effect his night time sleep or morning routine.  We shall wait and see.

3.  Malloryisms.  It was a strange, off week.  Mal only took one nap the whole week.  So she was a bit grumpy this weekend.  As I type this she is going on hour two of her nap today.  By golly--she needed this!  I taught her a little saying this week--You get what you get, and you don't throw a fit.  This has come in handy A LOT this week.  This will be said in our house daily I'm sure.  I didn't get as much time with her at the end of this week...and I could really tell this.  She wanted my attention so badly this weekend.  I took her grocery shopping.  How Mommy bonding is that?!?!?  She's doing better.  And it breaks my heart a little and also makes me feel appreciated.  Does that make sense?  3-4 days this week Mal got herself dressed--completely.  Wasn't always matching...but she did it on her own!! Our own little fashionista in the making.  I've also seen a real kind soul come out in her.  I mean, this isn't always the case.  But I've seen some truly generous gestures in the last few weeks.  Makes a momma proud.

2.  RSV.  Sucks.  Seriously.  Due to the breathing treatments at home not working, I spent the day after Valentine's Day in the Kazoo ER for 6 hours!  Thankfully, Aunt Hil was around and took in Miss Mal.  The test from the prior ER visit showed up positive for RSV.  Clay's breathing was touch and go.  One minute fine, the next all out of sorts.  Fever, cough, wheezing, no eating or drinking, lethargic, runny nose.  NOT fun at all.  We were never admitted...just monitoring his breathing and waiting to see what would happen next.  Jay joined me for the last few hours which was great--hadn't had anything to eat or a chance to even use the bathroom.  Let's just say I'm still trying to catch up from those days.  I've taken naps the last three days.  Starting to somewhat feel normal.  Clay was totally fine the next day.  He's such a resilient kid.  Seriously.  Besides the cough and runny nose, you'd never have guessed he was struggling to breath the day before.  The gave him a different breathing treatment at the hospital that lasts 12 hours and a shot of steroids.  Other than that, we just had to wait it out. 

1.  Bowling.  Saturday night was suppose to be our Valentine's Day celebration.  Dinner and bowling with the Decatur Boosters group.  We had to cancel our babysitter for Saturday night due to our sickness.  But Grandma and Grandpa came through!  And I was overjoyed.  I really needed this night out after all the sickness stress.  We ended up just going bowling.  It was great to hang out with fellow Decatur people.  It was also amusing how many of them asked me if I was coming back to school next year.  We will see people.

Well, my dishwasher's done.
Soup is coming to the end.
And dance is around the corner...

Enjoy your week!!
And my fellow teachers--good luck at conferences!!

Until next week,
Mrs. Newell