Mother Guilt

There was a Facebook post this week that caught my attention.

It was about being a mother.
And feeling the "I'm-a-bad-mother-because-I'm-not-doing-enough."

Hit home.
Really hard.
Because I can say I have felt this way.  Many times.

I remember my first time (I know this sounds really sad).

A few years back around Mal's first birthday, I looked at her baby pictures and realized that we didn't have as many as I thought we did.  It seems that when I became a new mom, I was a bit busy.  I was trying to get the feel down of being a mother.  What to do and not to do.  Or even what I couldn't do.  Anyways, I didn't think about taking pictures of those treasured moments of her as an infant.  My bad.  Like every new mom, I was stressed, overwhelmed, and wanting to do everything right.  And I FORGOT our camera.  Oops.  Doesn't mean I feel any better about it.  Although Clay has sure benefited from it:o)  There are LOTS of pictures of Sir Clayton as a wee one.  And this probably explains my obsession with getting my kids yearly shots down at JC Penney.  Like by fixing it now, it will fix what I messed up on years ago.  Cause that makes sense, right?!?!

Then you have the diaper rashes (Mal had one that lasted her whole second month of her life), going back to work, not nursing long enough, not finishing their baby books or keeping track of keepsakes.  Just to name a few.

And this doesn't include the daily ones like having a clean house, finishing laundry, providing healthy food choices and meals, disciplining them in a positive way, and on and on. 

You get the guilty point.

Do I feel guilty?? HECK YES.
Do I compare myself to other moms?? HECK YES.
Do I change up what I am doing?? Sometimes.  Not always.  Depends if I feel it would really benefit my family.  And if it really makes sense to.

So where do we go from here.

This is what I know.

I love my kids. 

I would only do something if it truly meant it would help them or make them happy.  Or benefit them in some way or another.  Do I sometimes go above this?  Maybe.  Or don't do a craft every week?  Maybe.  But I always have their best interest in mind (and a little bit of my sanity--which truly benefits them too).

I want them to be good people.  Truly good people.

Which means, being friendly, saying please and thank-you, thinking of others, treating everyone respectfully, hard working, independent, spiritual, motivated, healthy.  I could go on and on here as well.  But we understand that we want our kids to be decent people.  Because honestly, I feel more and more each day that these kind of people are lacking in our society.  Which is terribly sad.

I am human.

I make mistakes.  I apologize.  Enough said.

Life is too short to sweat the small stuff.

Time flies.

And we do the best we can as mothers.  Just like our mothers and our grandmothers and so on.

It's okay to feel guilty, as long as you recognize it and MOVE ON:o)



***Now mind you, I have only been a mother for four years THIS Saturday.  Not very long.  But I've had lots of time to think in the last 8 months or so about my motherhood and my new "job."  I may be way off....but know that this makes me feel better.  SO I go with it:o)***



Top 9 for the week (Short and Sweet):

9.  Sickness.  The cough has gotten us.  Jay, Mal, and Clay had it this past week.  I somehow missed it...however, everyday I feel like I am coming down with something.  Great feeling.  Hello Airborne.

8.  T-shirt Necklace.  I made a T-shirt necklace for Mal's preschool teacher for Christmas.  Well, she wore it this week.  Made my day:o)

7.  Lovey Kids.  I know I say this a lot, but I love the moments my kids show they love each other.  It is so sweet.  They've been hugging each other a lot lately.  Mind you I write this after Clay grabbed a HUGE hunk of Mal's hair out and Mal threw a fit that Clay was playing with her things.  Doesn't matter about today.  Last week was GREAT:o)

6.  Lazy Day.  We had a lazy day in our house last week.  Mal stayed in her pajamas all day.  It was great!!  A much needed day after all these dark, dreary days.  Sunshine you can come back anytime now.

5.  Doc Visit.  Clay went to the doctor this week and saw a different doctor.  He was SO good.  Shy.  The doctor even commented about how Clay's default face was a smile.  SO true with that boy.  He is always smiling and always happy:o)

4.  Malloryisms.  Turning into quite the lady.  I have noticed a drastic change in her thoughts, words, and behavior since Christmas.  Which is crazy to me.  But it's true.  She's acting older.  Who knew FOUR was such a big difference.

3.  Clayisms.  He says "HOT" now.  So cute.  Still continues to get into everything.  Still loves our dog.  Still climbs--caught him on top of Mal's dresser pushing the tape buttons on her radio.  Still gives the BEST hugs.

2.  Nana Here.  Love my mom here.  Cleaned out FOUR closets.  Unbelievable.  Thank-you NANA!!

1.  Mallory Time.  I took Mal to get her 4 year pictures at JC Penney (which turned out great!).  Then we had lunch, did some shopping, and headed back home.  It was the BEST time.  Seriously.  It was SO girl bonding time.  Until the ride home.  I was having a little chat with Mal, when Jay called.  He told me he saw my Facebook post (about enjoying Mal's time) and asked what happened.  Seems Mal was having a slight meltdown on way home.  Who doesn't after a day of pictures and shopping?

I know I'm late.
It's already Tuesday.
But I did it.
I can check this off the LIST:o)

Hope you are having a great week!!
Until next week,
Mrs. Newell