There is a fine line between being a friend with your child and being a parent.
BUT these are totally TWO different approaches.
And can create TWO totally different kids.
I have seen BOTH in my teaching careers. Lately, more friends, than parents.
I knew from the start that being a friend to your child truly does and will not work (at least until they are adults and can somewhat function on their own). **
Friend parents are less structured. Do things to please or make their children happy EVEN when it's not in the child's best interest. Don't get me wrong, I want my children happy. Gosh, that's one of the things I pray for every night. But we're talking the staying up late, eating whatever they want, talking to you in "friend" talk, etc. There has a tendency to be no adult respect between the child and parent. Which in turns creates no respect for adults period. Including teachers. And the list goes on and on. I'm sure you are either friends with someone like this, or have seen this in public too.
As Mallory gets older, it's getting harder to remember this.
It's awful to have your child not "like" you at the time because you are rationally disciplining them for something that was in the wrong.
Take for instance this afternoon. For an hour or so, Mal was talking back to me, being rude, not saying please or thank-you. Totally disrespecting me. AND I let it go. Which created a crabby mood for me and shortness with her.
Until, while washing dishes, I had a epiphany. "DUDE--what are you doing?!?!?!" And that was it. I went over, turned off her show she was watching. Told her it was rude and disrespectful to be acting the way she was towards me. I said she needed to go use the bathroom and get ready for a nap while I finished the dishes. AND SHE DID. No peeps. No whines. No backtalk. I truly was speechless. And after changing Clay and putting him down for his nap, she was in bed with her pajamas on (she wears them for her nap--hard habit to break--but really, who wouldn't want to sleep in their pjs?). I told her no books or cuddles and that I loved her. She cried a bit, but then rolled over and fell asleep.
Honestly, I'm still dumbfounded at how easy this was and wondering why I didn't do this in the first place. And knowing that this probably won't ever happen again. At least not this YEAR.
And THEN, I wonder if I am too hard on her. I mean, I taught fifth grade for over 10 years. Am I still in the same process of dealing with children THAT age for MY newly 4 year old???
BUT, I want her to be respectful and nice to me. And everyone else she meets and encounters.
It's a hard job doing the right thing and even knowing what IS right.
All I know, is that I am not her friend. I am her mother. And I will do whatever it takes to make her HAPPY (the best I can!!:o)) and help mold her into the woman she deserves to be.
Amen!!!
**Mom, I consider us friends. But I also know you are my MOTHER:o)**
Top 10 for the Week:
10. Appointments. It seems like appointments ALWAYS fall on the same week. This week, I had the pleasure (NOT) of taking my kids on FOUR. That's right. I suffered this week. Major. The worst one, was the last one. Which lasted TWO hours. It was horrible. But honestly, my kids were great. I kept them entertained and they were really good (for the most part). Makes me a proud momma and makes visits like that better. When the eye doctor came in (the last 15 minutes of our visit), he apologized for running late and thanked me for my patience. My reply, "My patience is running really thin right now, but it's STILL there." Wendy's on way home IN car. You do what you gotta do to hold onto some part of your sanity in times of need.
9. Sweets & Fast Food. Don't mix with me. This week I leaned on these two a bit. Made me feel sick to my stomach and TIRED. This makes me realize even more how important it is for me to really start eating healthier and wiser. Unbelievable what food can do to your body.
8. Lazy Sunday. Clayton and Mal stayed in pajamas yesterday. We laid around all day, doing absolutely nothing. It was great. Both kids and myself took some much needed naps. The only time we went out for the day was to get a prescription and some deodorant at Walgreens. Bliss.
7. Basketball Player. Mal is projected to be taller than me. She's going to be at LEAST 5'8" or 5'9". You should have heard her dad and grandpas talking about what she's going to be. It was cute. She was OVER the charts on height. No wonder her 4T tops and pants don't fit anymore!! She is now in 5T! Which I still can't believe it.
6. Green Tea Wonder. Not sure what it is about Green Tea, but I LOVE it. Decaf and regular. It's tasty. I enjoy a cup during the day (usually around nap time when I can truly enjoy it) and at night after the kids go to bed. Makes me feel warm and calm. Enough said.
5. Best Mom Ever. While Mal was at school on Tuesday, I rearranged her room and of course organized it. She was tickled pink to see it when she got home. We walked out of her room and she said, "You are the best mom ever!" Seriously. I had to ask what she said because I couldn't believe it. But that's what she said. Made my day, week, month, year. Amazing how a comment can mean so much. I'll take what I can get:o)
4. Malloryisms. Four is really changing her. Is this normal?? Here's what she said this week:
*"Can I have another bone?" (referring to biscuits. That is what we call our dog treats:o))
*"You are freaking me out mom." (Her birthday book from school was purple. I mentioned that Mrs. Kasson must have known that purple was her favorite color and she responded with this). HA!
*This week we also had a lengthy talk about skin cell reproduction. Yes, it was interesting. But she was curious about her scab and how her body made more skin. So, I told her in my best this-is-a-four-year-old-I'm-talking-to skin lecture.
*The day of her party, Mal did not go to sleep until 10 at night. I tucked her in, read a book, and was rubbing her back and neck when she fell asleep RIGHT before my eyes. It was precious. The eye flutter, calming breathing, and her final attempt to hold on to being awake. It has been a really long time since she has done that for me. I enjoyed every minute of it.
3. Clayisms. He is definitely talking more. This week's new words: lettuce (strange!), ack (snack), and a few others that I can't remember. He is trying harder to copy our words. He has his check-up this week...it will be interesting to see where he is at in growth. Still climbing, pushing (UGH! Help me Mommas! What do I do???), running, and never stopping for a second. He is my energy boy. That's for sure. Wishing it was a bit warmer today so we could have gone outside. He NEEDS it. He's been a bit cranky this week. We thought at first he was coming down with something. Nope. The poor boy has FOUR teeth coming in. Two bottom molars and two other bottom teeth. NO wonder!!
2. Healthy Living. Made my own granola this week as well as fruit smoothies for the kids which they adored. I also made mini banana muffins with yogurt, whole wheat floor, and coconut sugar. They are delicious!! Both kids had four a piece!! Real hit!! This week I'm going to make my own waffles from scratch. I also get tested for food allergies on Wednesday. So, this could also mean a change in our diet. We will see!! (I know I said OUR, but that doesn't mean I'll be punishing my kids and husband--you're welcome Jay).
1. Mallory's FOUR. Crazy. Four years ago today, we were driving home from the hospital with our little bundle. She was so tiny. Crazy how time truly does fly. We had a wonderful celebration with family and friends. I think my favorite part was when we sang Happy Birthday to her. Her look on her face was priceless. She really doesn't like being the center of attention. Her face had that I'm-trying-not-to-smile-because-I'm-embarrassed look. She also told us that her favorite part of the day was her cake and eating it:o) Which she ate like ONE bite. She was more about playing with her friends and visiting with others. She also gets to have TWO Flintstones Vitamins now, which she proudly reminded me FIRST thing this morning. Happy Birthday my dear Mallory Jayne Newell. I love you to pieces. And I love your sassy, fun, caring, intuitive ways. You always seem to surprise me and keep me on my toes!
Thanks for stopping by on this snowy day.
Hope you are enjoying it!:o)
Until next week,
Mrs. Newell
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