Many friends, family, old colleagues, and strangers have asked me how this "new life" as a stay-at-home-mom is going. And it's hard for me to even solely grasp exactly how I feel. And then to put it into a quick response back--feels impossible. So here, at this time, I've decided to confess or try to. And give some explanation to this new world of mine.
I'm more relaxed. I don't feel like every ounce of my being is being used up to it's maximum capacity--if that even makes sense to anyone. Teaching is a TOUGH job. That takes a lot away from a person. Sometimes I never even felt like I was myself anymore. Trying to be superwoman and all. Now, I feel more me. More sane. And I know being a stay-at-home mom is similar but it's different. Like for example, at this time IF I was teaching, I'd be prepping for the week (which gives me stress just thinking about what I would have had to do). But instead I'm blogging, carrying on a conversation with myself. And reflecting. I have time for that??? Really, I do.
I feel more balanced. My time is used the way I would like it to be used. Which means I have time for our kids, time for my hubby, time for myself, and time for my friends. It's crazy. And a blessing. I have air pockets of time here and there where I don't have ANYTHING planned. So we just be. Do what we please. How cool is that?
It's getting easier. I remember moments at the beginning of this summer (and even last summer) when my frustration and patience levels were all over the place. I didn't feel like I was really enjoying my alone time with our kids. I know, hard to believe right? I guess I always knew that the summer wasn't permanent...so just plug away and get through with it. I feel in a much better place now. I understand my kids more. Or maybe they understand me more. We also have routines. Routines of getting ready in the morning, routines of getting out the door, routines of what to do when mommy is cooking, and just this past week we discovered a new routine of when mommy is running/walking on the treadmill. ROUTINES makes me think of teaching--and the importance of them and how NO classroom runs smoothly without well, practiced ones. So can say we are pretty much getting that down.
I really do enjoy being at home. I knew this before, but I didn't realize how much I really do. This past week we stayed at home (except for a few errands here and there) all week. The kids were BETTER behaved for me and I was able to really spend time with them in our home. Yes, our home is messier...but it's good to know we are putting it to good use!!:o) AND there was a point on Thursday when I HAD to get out of the house. And we did.
I see the best (and worst) sides of my kids. I remember our day care person telling me how wonderful our kids were and THEN I would take them home and they would be HORRIBLE for me. I wanted to scream, pull my hair out, and be a fly on the wall at Deb's house! How could these kids be the same?? I now see it. My kids are GREAT when they have sleep and after they are fed. Oh and when you spend quality time with them--they are even BETTER. Don't get me wrong, I still see the worst...but thank goodness I see the best too. It definitely outweighs the bad.
I even cook/bake more, craft more (with kids and by myself), scrapbook more, read more (with kids and by myself), workout more, am outdoors more, do yard work more, run more errands, and PLAY more with my kids of course. I also clean more, do more dishes, do more laundry (UGH). And I hate to confess this...but I Facebook more. I need that to be on my less list.
I spend less time getting ready (not to my liking), watching TV, talking on the phone, rushing, or thinking about what I'm going to do tonight, the next day, next week.
Overall, I feel pretty darn great about my decision. NO regrets on my part. And to the girl that asked if there was a way I could go back after the semester when I was telling a group of stay-at-home moms I was planning on staying at home that next year--I wouldn't even IF I could.
Life is too short to be too busy to slow down. And I am taking full advantage of that.
Top 9 for the week:
9. Sleep Deprived. For some unknown reason, this past week has been a struggle for our kids to sleep through the night. It brought us back to newborn stage. It was ugly. I must say it does ween me off of having another newborn. It amazes me how you forget so easily what it was like to NOT have sleep. Gosh, what I would give right now to have ONE solid night of sleep. Crossing my fingers for our children to get back to their patterned sleep!
8. Our Ballerina. I must say I LOVE Monday nights with my Mallory. It is so great to spend some quality time with just here in the car, at class, and then on the playground afterwards. She eats it up. And enjoys every minute of it (except for that ONE Monday awhile back that she did not get a nap prior to dance--boy was that a rough one).
7. Home Bodies. Yes, this week we stayed home. Don't ask me what we really did all week. We were outside a bunch and who knows what else we did. But we were home. And the kids loved it.
6. Attention. Okay, I know this isn't rocket science or anything but I discovered something this week. IF you give a child attention, they WILL behave better. Yes, it's true. There were several moments this week where it was just the three of us playing together, reading together, eating together, doing whatever together. Which in turn meant less timeouts or squabbles with the two kids. It was bliss.
5. Girl's Night Out. I was able to get away and have a movie/drink night out this past week. MUCH needed girl talk with great company. Also made me realize how far I've come to being in this new job and how awesome it feels to be grounded.
4. Malloryisms. There were SO many this week!!
*"2012, 2012" (Yes, my daughter knows the year we are in. Thank-you St. Mary's school!!)
*"Clay, I don't want to see your body." (As Sir Clayton is running around naked. That boy would rather be naked than dressed.)
*"Mommy that is way funny." (Referring to a face we made out of crackers and cheese snack.)
*"Hey Daddy, IF you feel like it, you can bring me home a sucker from work. But don't tell Mommy, it will be our secret." (Said to Jay as he was kissing her goodbye one morning. Really??)
*"Daddy, what are those girls doing?" "They are cheering on the football team." "What are those boys doing?" "They are also cheering on the football team." "How come they aren't playing?" "That's a really good question." "Maybe they don't like football." (Said to Jay while watching the Michigan game).
*"Mommy do you smell my fart?"
3. The Potty King. Clayton is. I have to admit it. He has pooped on the potty four times and peed--I can't even count how many. He will be 18 months this next weekend and he is potty training himself. For heaven's sake the kid can't even say more than five words BUT he can go on the potty. It shocks me. And puzzles me. And saves me money:o)
2. Triple Date. In downtown Kalamazoo. A late night, but so much fun. AND our babysitter had both kids in bed by 8:45PM. I asked her what she was doing at 8:00 every night.
1. Our New Church. We have decided to join the church we have been going to the last few months. AND have our kids baptized there. We are extremely pumped about this and feel this is truly the best fit for our family. We had our first meeting tonight and we both left feeling really good about our decision. SO great to have prayers answered:o)
Night friendly readers!! Have a great week!!
Mrs. Newell
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