"It's" Gone

It's happened. 

I no longer feel "it."

And I'm not even sure what "it" is, BUT I can describe it to you. 

Anyone who has worked for a school system or who has gone to school for awhile knows the feeling I am talking about.  The feeling when you are anywhere else but in school during the work week.  It can be a Tuesday morning or a Monday afternoon.  Does not matter the weekday or time.  For whatever reason, a doctor's appointment, home sick or with sick kids, a personal day, funeral, whatever it may be, you are someplace else besides school.  And you feel like you are in the wrong.  The feeling you have when you know you should be in school, but you are not.  Guilt maybe?  BUT you feel this gut wrenching urge, desire, thought (not sure on the word here) that you NEED and HAVE to be at school.

Well......I no longer feel "it".

It's gone.  It disappeared this week.  Poof!  Shocked me.  Took me back for a bit. 

I think it was maybe Tuesday, I think, that I was like, DUDE--I NO longer feel guilty for being at home with my OWN kids.  I don't feel the NEED to be at school. 

In fact, I feel great.  I feel like I am totally where I should be at, at this point in my life.  Don't get me wrong, there has definitely been ups and downs to this whole process.  And even this past week felt rather BLAH.  Cold weather?  Into routine?  Cranky mommy?  Cranky kids?  Was there a full moon I didn't know about????  Anyways, we are moving on.

Losing that "it" feeling is huge.  A weight off my shoulders.  A step in the right direction. 

And I feel great.


Top 11 for the week:

11.  Forgotten Sweet Gesture.  A few weeks ago in church, Mal reached over entwined my hand with hers and then reached for her Daddy's and did the same.  She looked up at me and smiled.  It was so sweet.  So cute.  And SO cherished. 

10.  Family Photos.  I love JC Penney pictures.  It's cheap, quick (for the most part), easy, and I get them back in ONE week.  I am NOT good at keeping the baby books up-to-date, measuring my kids, or keeping track of things--but I AM good at making sure we get our photos done.  This Fall's photos were GREAT!  I was extremely pleased with how they turned out.  In fact, we had to sign a release form because JC Penney was interested in using them for their advertising.  I know, I'm a dork.  BUT, I thought it was kinda cool:o)  We also got a free 8x10 out of the deal.

9.  Exercise.  I got two runs in this week (only 1 mile each at 12 minutes) and a Zumba class.  HUGE.  Felt great.  I LOVE the way my body, mind, and soul feel after a good workout.  Now if I can only continue that on to this week.  Motivation people!!!

8.  Homecoming Parade.  We were back in time from Mal's field trip to see the parade.  Mal and Clay enjoyed it greatly.  I saw LOTS of students who yelled out my name and waved to me.  It was great to see all of them--I can't believe how BIG they are already!!  It makes me feel old.  Clay got a shout out from a student and the expression on his face was priceless.  He felt WAY cool. 

7.  Heart-to-Heart.  Mal and I had a conversation just before bed this week that was about good and bad choices.  After such a rough week last week, I was searching for something to "fix" the situation.  It didn't entirely fix it but it did make things better.  She knows the differences between good and bad choices.  I just have to keep reminding her of them. 

6.  Clayisms.
~Clay can not only open our kitchen cabinets (pushing down on the locks), he can now open our pantry as well.  Anytime he feels like having a snack, he heads to the pantry, opens it up, grabs what he wants, and then closes the doors.  Sneaky boy. 
~Really starting to pester his sister.  I mean REALLY.  And he knows it.  There was a fight in the morning this week where Mal wanted a book on the floor and Clay wanted it on the couch next to Mal.  Brought back memories of my brother and me. 
~This week I also really noticed him saying MORE.  And we heard him say Grandpa to Jay's grandpa today.  He's also said water, vacuum, and buck this week.  I just need to pay attention more to what he is truly saying.

5.  Malloryisms. 
~"Mommy, you and me are the same."  (at breakfast one morning for no reason at all. Just within the last few weeks or so she's been calling me Mommy--totally out of the blue).
~While reading bedtime books, Mal noticed that one of them had a picture of an Earth in it.  She asked me what it was and I was kinda lost for words.  I tried explaining that we were just a speck on this BIG huge, round ball.  "Just like the elephant Mommy." "Ummmm...sure, but the earth is MUCH bigger than an elephant."  "No, I mean like in the movie."  Yes friends, my daughter was referring to Horton Hears a Who which we watched months ago.  Brilliant I tell ya!!! And totally saved me from a huge, drawn out conversation.  Thank-you Disney.

4.  October 4th.  Aunt Lindsay's Birthday:o)  We also enjoyed time playing outside since it was gorgeous out!! The kids played with the hose and water! Yes, can you believe that?!?!  It was adorable seeing Clay try with all his might and succeeding in spraying the hose.  He also thought he was pretty cool being able to spray his sister with it.  Mal enjoyed making soup in her pot and mud pies.  Nana and I sat back, took pictures, and took in the memory. 

3.  Sibling LOVE.  It is so heartwarming to see the way my kids interact with each other.  I witnessed Clay intently looking at Mal and strongly seeking her attention this week.  Mal made a bed for Clay in our living room this week with tons of blankets, "fluffies" (stuffed animals), and pillows.  They do not always act this way...but I sure enjoy the moments they do. 

2.  Clay's Obsession.  Babies.  At almost 18 months, he is obsessed with babies.  Anytime he sees one, he gets these googly eyes, reaches for them, gently touches them, and makes this weird cooing noise.  It's so stinking cute.  He is SUCH a sweet boy. 

1.  Mal's 1st Field Trip.  Mal and I enjoyed her first field trip to the Apple Orchard.  A wagon ride, picking apples, tasting donuts and cider,  and playing games.  It was a blast!  SO glad I was able to go and enjoy it with her without having to run after Clay (Thank-you Grandma Newell for watching Sir Clayton!!). Another opportunity we would have missed out on, IF I had been working.

Thanks for reading.  Hope you enjoyed.
Have a great second week of October!!
Until next week,
Mrs. Newell